By Socrates Adams-Florou

Location: Chinatown

I live in Chinatown.

Every Sunday there is a wedding and loads of fireworks go off on the pavement opposite my house. Every time I think that we are under attack by terrorists.

The lights in Chinatown are bright and of a number of different lurid colours. They make it look dangerous and seedy. Chinatown makes me feel sexy.

There is a restaurant in Chinatown that I always go to. It is the Happy Emperor restaurant. There is a lovely lady in the Happy Emperor restaurant who gives me free prawn crackers and beer when I go in.

I am grotesquely fat due to all of the free beer and prawn crackers. I have started going to a therapist because I am so fat. I feel like a grease ball.

My therapist is called Arnold Phillips. He makes me feel better by forcing me to eat more Chinese food. If I don’t have something in my mouth I start crying.

I spend all of my money on Chinese food in Chinatown. I go to all of the restaurants on a constant quest for Chinese food. I love the smell of Chinese food. I go into the bakeries and supermarkets, stuffing food into my gob, getting poorer and fatter.

I cannot afford my rent.

I now live in one of the gazebos in Chinatown. I am homeless and fat. I am a drug addict.

Leave me alone.

Socrates Adams-Florou says: ‘I write a blog. I was nominated for the 2008 Manchester Blog Awards. I am a massive disappointment.’



2 Responses to “Chinatown”

  1. October 29, 2008 at 6:06 pm, Rachel said:

    Witty and a nice read. Love the desctiption and irony. Homeless and fat at the same time. Pretty lights and terrorist attack. Crazy. Had me laughing one minute, and then wondering what was going to come next.

  2. April 29, 2009 at 5:00 pm, Pol vanRhee said:

    This piece reminds me of my Chinatown. Full of contradiction and yet seemingly all connected in a way I can’t understand, but know is there.


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